Episode 21 – Intimacy After a Hip Replacement - Transcript
Welcome to the Hip Replacement Podcast, where recovery meets motivation and healing leads to a whole new lifestyle.
I'm Chris Bystriansky, your host. I'm an author, athlete, and double hip replacement patient. I've been through the surgeries, the setbacks, and the comebacks. And I'm here to help you do the same.
Each week, I'll bring you tips, tools, expert advice, and inspiring stories to help you take back your life one step at a time.
Thanks for joining the Hip Replacement Podcast. New hips, new you. Let's go.
________________________________________
Welcome back to the Hip Replacement Podcast. I'm Chris Bystriansky, your host. I've also had both of my hips replaced, one more than 10 years ago and the other more than 12 years ago. And I'm here to share my experiences with you.
Okay, today this is going to be an adult topic. So I'm going to give you about 10 seconds to clear everyone else out of the room or clear them out of the car so that you can listen to this without embarrassing somebody or getting embarrassed.
Okay, so 10 seconds to clear everyone else out or turn it off and you can come back and listen to it at a different time.
So if you have your kids, your parents, maybe your pastor in the room or the car with you, now is the perfect time to turn off this episode.
Okay. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.
________________________________________
And now I'm going to assume that if you're still here listening, you're in a place where you can listen without getting embarrassed because someone else can hear what you're listening to.
All right, here we go.
Today, we're going to talk about intercourse after a hip replacement surgery.
I'm not sure if anyone else is talking about this, but we're going to do it right here. And obviously, this is going to be from a man's perspective, me, and I can assure you I've done extensive research on this topic.
Now, it's going to be from my perspective, from a man. So I cannot speak about the specifics for the women, but ladies, hold on here. Send me a message with your comments or insights using the link in the show notes and I'll read your comments in another episode.
I won't read your name, so it can be relatively anonymous. I won't broadcast who you are if you send in comments. Also, if you want to appear as a guest on the podcast to talk about this topic, send me a comment about that as well.
I'm looking forward to getting your comments because I'd love to hear your perspective. In intercourse, you're going to possibly stretch those hips and be pretty active physically. So I'd love to hear your comments and what works and what doesn't work for you.
Okay, last chance to leave this episode or save it for a different time when you're in a better place where others can't hear this.
________________________________________
All right, here we go.
Whatever you want to call it—intercourse, sex, hanky panky, getting laid, shag, root, bonk—whatever. Obviously, this is a physical activity. I'm not saying that it's not emotional or psychological, but for the purposes of this episode, I'm going to address the physical piece only.
Because it's physical, obviously check with your surgeon about when it's safe to return to sex or intercourse. I've read that about 6 to 8 weeks is appropriate, but it's all relative.
Not all intercourse is created equal. If you typically engage gently, you may be ready sooner than someone who's a little more aggressive. If you engage more actively or aggressively, like the bed is shaking or bouncing or hitting the wall, maybe take a little more time than that 6 to 8 weeks before jumping into that level of activity.
This is a perfect time to start gently and then accelerate as your body allows.
________________________________________
Let me bring up a few general observations or words of caution.
Check with your surgeon. Everybody's different. Everyone heals at a different pace.
Start slowly. Obviously, the healthier and more flexible you are, the more you can engage in intercourse. To me, having better intercourse is a great motivator to take care of our health.
I think the sex drive is stronger if we're healthier, well hydrated, and physically healthier overall.
We may feel more confident in what we're doing.
Take care of yourselves. Get more active, get stronger, get more flexible. All of these will help improve intercourse.
________________________________________
As a man who's had hip replacement surgeries, what was my experience like?
I had two hips done 18 months apart using the anterior approach, where they went through the front of the hips.
Before I had hip replacement surgeries and long before hip pain, my wife and I were very active sexually. As the hip pain became more severe, it got harder. I had pain, limited positions, difficulty standing, and certain movements hurt.
Even though intercourse was still great, it could have been better without constant pain.
After surgery, I had concerns. Would I move the implant? Would I regain flexibility? Could I physically do it the way I wanted to?
________________________________________
After surgery, we waited about three months before returning to gentle intercourse. I'm a little overly cautious.
The safest and most comfortable position at first was both of us kneeling on the floor, with me behind my wife. We did that for a while.
As I got stronger, more confident, and more flexible, we gradually became more aggressive and returned to other positions, including being on a bed with my wife on her back and me on top.
With the anterior approach, that position stretches the front of the hip, so we had to be careful. Over time, it became comfortable.
Honestly, the floor ended up being a great option. Over time, we returned to many positions, including my wife being on top of me, either on the floor, bed, or even a chair.
At first, my hips would get sore. They no longer do.
________________________________________
After a few years, there were basically no limitations. No pain. No concerns about twisting, stretching, squatting, bending, or positions.
It took about two years before I had zero concern about damaging the hips. From that point forward, there has been no limitation, even more than 12 years later.
I'm able to get into positions now that I couldn't get into for 20 years. Hip replacement surgery actually turned back the clock on flexibility.
________________________________________
Key points:
Check with your surgeon.
Start slowly.
Get healthier.
Get stronger and more flexible.
Intercourse can be a great form of movement and motivation once your body is healed.
If better health leads to better sex, that's a great motivator to take care of ourselves.
Use this as a gauge of recovery. Six months, one year, two years—notice what you can do now that you couldn't do before.
________________________________________
I hope this was helpful. This was from a man's perspective. Ladies, please send in your comments using the link in the show notes.
This is part one of intercourse after hip replacement. Hopefully, part two will include the women's perspective.
Thanks so much for tuning into the Hip Replacement Podcast.
Until next time, I wish you the best recovery possible. Take care.
