Welcome back to The Hip Replacement Podcast. This is the fourth episode in a special five-part series based on the five themes from my book, New Steel. And New Steel is about having two hip replacements, the recovery, and what happened in my life after all of that.
But this series is not about telling everyone out there to become an endurance athlete or to go do triathlons or to completely change their lives in favor of being hyper hyp not hyperactive but hyperactive I guess you'd say and go do crazy endurance type things.
It's not like that at all.
This series is more about hope and encouragement and the lessons that come from going through something hard, which we're all doing that, and coming out on the other side with something useful to offer to someone else.
Today's theme, the fourth theme is your setback may be someone else's survival guide.
And that idea means a lot to me because when you're in the middle of pain, of the surgery, of the fear or the recovery, you may not see any purpose or hope in any of it.
Because those things, getting back to your regular activity, getting back to that lifestyle that you want seem so far away and may seem impossible.
You're not thinking that someday this will help someone else. Someday what I'm going through is going to help someone else. Someone going through a challenging time in their life.
You're thinking about something that's much more interesting to you and important to you at the time of your surgeries. You're thinking about you and everything going on in your life with your hip and your body. You're not thinking about I'm going to help somebody else later in life with this.
You're thinking about you and what's going on in your life.
And to boil it down even further, you're thinking about little things, not little in importance, little in minor that they're so small in the amount of time that they take up.
So, for example, you're thinking about how do I get out of this chair? How am I going to sleep tonight? Why is my leg swollen? How am I going to walk through the grocery store? Where's my ice pack? How long is this going to take?
You're thinking about things that are really personal to you because of what you're going through. You're thinking about survival and just getting through your daily life.
And that's okay. That's great. That's what you're supposed to be doing. You have to take care of yourself first.
When you're in the middle of the hard part of the challenge, you don't have to turn everything into a lesson for somebody else immediately. You don't have to think about the bigger picture. The lesson and the bigger picture can wait for later.
Sometimes the only thing you need and want is really just to get through the day. Just make it one more day because it's so hard. It's so challenging.
Something that used to be easy. Walking around, taking a shower, going about your day used to be easy, but now it's a challenge. Whether that's before surgery or after surgery, but later on, something interesting can happen.
The thing that once made you scared or isolated or embarrassed even or limited can become the exact thing that allows you to help someone else.
And that's one of the most powerful parts of going through a difficult experience like a hip replacement surgery.
You earn a kind of understanding that can't be faked.
Someone can read about a hip replacement. Someone can study it. Someone can explain the medical process. Hell, a doctor can even explain the X-rays, the diagnosis, and surgery to you. And while all those things may seem helpful, they're also sort of meaningless in a way, the technical stuff, the deep down technical stuff is really sort of meaningless because it doesn't help you go about your day.
Because there's something different about hearing from a person who's actually been there, who's actually experiencing what you're experiencing.
Someone who knows what it feels like to be told you need a hip replacement. Someone who knows the fear before surgery. Someone who knows what it feels like to stand on that fake hip for the first time. Someone who knows the awkwardness of recovery. Someone who knows the strange emotional mix of gratitude, I guess you say, frustration, hope, impatience, and denial, which I was in denial for years.
That kind of lived experience that's really ingrained into somebody is really important and it's not replaceable.
Sharing such a challenging experience, sharing that with someone in a position that you used to be in is really meaningful to you and to the person you're sharing it with because we all have this connection.
We've all gone through this or we're about to some people are about to go through it. We have a connection that other people don't understand and can't really talk about the way we can.
So, you walked a dark path and later you have the opportunity to shed light on that path for someone else coming behind you.
That helps people feel less alone. And really that can make all the difference for someone going through the hip replacement surgery or frankly any other challenge in their lives.
Before my first hip replacement, I felt lost. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to go for help. I was in pain and I was certainly scared. I was scared for my future. I was scared I wouldn't be able to walk normally again. I was scared I wouldn't be able to walk at all.
And I was really young for the diagnosis, which made it even harder for me to accept. I felt like I was in the prime of my life and I was told I have this I don't know for a better for lack of a better term but this debilitating issue and it need to be addressed with surgery.
I had plenty of questions. I had plenty of doubts and I had plenty of fears and I would have loved to have heard from someone who had been through it and could realistically and honestly say, "I know what this feels like, Chris. I know it's scary. I know you may feel like your body betrayed you.
I know you may be wondering whether life will ever feel normal again, if your body will ever feel normal again. But I also know that there can be life on the other side. And Chris, you're going to be okay because I will help you and I will talk you through it and I will give you the answers as best I can from the perspective that you are in right now.
I wish I could have heard that.
And frankly, I got sick and tired of the doctors and the hospital staff telling me I'd be fine, that I'd make it through it no problem. It's not a big deal. We do these all day long. I don't know. That felt kind of minimal minimizing it.
And it all seemed cold and superficial like, "Hey, this is important to me. Why are you so nonchalant about it?
And that's part of why this podcast exists because there are people right now who are where I used to be and many people who are where you used to be. If you're past surgery, certainly if you've had your surgery already, there are people where you used to be.
Maybe they just got the diagnosis of osteoarthritis or whatever other diagnosis there could be. Maybe they just scheduled their surgery. Maybe their surgery is later today. Maybe they're recovering this week.
Maybe those people are wondering if their fear is normal. If maybe they're embarrassed. Maybe they're trying to figure out whether the pain they feel is normal and expected.
Maybe they're frustrated because they thought recovery would be easier or faster or they would breeze right through it or it would be no big deal like they've heard so many times before probably.
Maybe they're lonely because no one around them really understands and then they hear a story, my story, your story. They hear someone else describe what they're going through right now in their lives and something that they hear helps them relax on the inside just a little bit.
Not because everything is fixed, not because someone gave them some magic pill, but because someone else gets it.
Someone else has been there before.
Someone else is telling them something to help them feel comfortable because they've been there before. Someone understands them. Someone is like them.
And that's super powerful.
That helps their recovery and it helps yours as well. It's not fluff. It's not, oh, you'll be fine. It doesn't minimize what they're going through. It's understanding your story, what you've been through.
You're giving other people understanding that you know what they're going through right now in their lives, facing that challenge, facing that recovery, going through the hard times.
One of the beautiful things about hip replacement recovery, that's strange.
One of the beautiful things about hip replacement recovery is that you don't have to be an expert to encourage someone.
I remember being in the physical therapy clinic and it was always more powerful to hear words of encouragement from other patients who just had surgery or who were farther along in the recovery than I was rather than hearing the encouragement from the physical therapist or the surgeon whenever he occasionally popped into the clinic to give advice, to give support.
You don't need to have all the answers. You don't have to know every medical term. You don't have to explain implant materials, surgical approaches, or some detailed rehab protocols.
Leave the medical advice to the professionals.
But you can still offer something incredibly meaningful and important.
You can say something like this.
I remember being scared, too. I remember needing help. I remember feeling impatient in my recovery and wanting things to go faster. I remember wondering if I'd ever walk normally again. I remember the first time I realized I was going to be better and everything was going to be okay.
Those words or something like that from your recovery process can be an absolute lifeline to someone else who feels lost, who just is totally down on themselves and down on life.
And here's the part I love.
You may be listening right now thinking, "I'm not ready to help anybody yet. I'm still the one who needs help right now. I'm still facing surgery. I'm still facing recovery.
Good. I'm glad you're here.
Then receive the help. Accept all the help you can get. There's no shame in that. We have times in our lives where we need help and we should accept it. And then there's times where we can be helping someone else and we should do that.
If you're going through the recovery process, accept and be open to all the help that you can get to get you back on your feet and back to the active life that you desire.
Once you're past that, give a helping hand to someone behind you.
Asking for help is so critical and accepting it. In fact, asking for help is one of the strongest things you can do. It takes courage.
It takes acknowledging that you're not as strong as you need to be or want to be right now and someone else has the power to help you. And you're empowering that other person.
But someday, maybe sooner than you think, someone else may need to hear your story. It may be a friend, it may be a neighbor, a co-worker, a family member, someone in an online group, someone in the waiting room when you go to see your surgeon for a follow-up.
Someone who sees you walking well without a limp and you're all balanced and you're walking without pain and says, "Wait a minute. Didn't you have a hip replacement?"
And suddenly your story of facing the challenge and overcoming it and taking those small steps and raising your life to a new level past all that pain, past the immobility, your story becomes useful and inspirational. Not because you suffered.
Suffering alone is not noble.
But because you came through something difficult in your life and now you can help someone else come through a challenge as well.
That's a beautiful transformation.
You're changing your former pain into perspective, fear into encouragement, setback in the service.
All that stuff, all that bad stuff that happened, now you can use it to your advantage to help someone else.
Now, I want to be careful about something.
Helping someone else doesn't mean pretending everything was easy.
Actually, the honest version is usually more helpful.
People don't need fake cheerleading or overpromising results. They don't need someone saying it was nothing. It was easy for me. You'll be fine. I recovered in two days. I was off all pain meds. Off all pain meds in six hours.
That's not helpful.
It almost puts pressure on the person who's coming behind like they have to keep up with that pace or they have to have those miraculous results.
But maybe the person will be fine.
But if they're scared, those overly optimistic phrases, those overly optimistic answers, maybe they're not that helpful.
What helps is honesty with hope.
Something like, "Yeah, I was scared for sure."
And I will tell you right now I was very scared. Yes.
Something also like yeah the first few days first few weeks were challenging. Yes recovery took patience. Yes I had to do the work. I did a lot of physical therapy. I did a lot of walking. I did a lot of activities.
But it got better. I got stronger. I started trusting my body again. I got parts of my life back.
That kind of message to someone else lands differently, then you'll be fine because it's honest. It doesn't overpromise or put pressure on someone to recover quickly or get left behind.
It also doesn't dismiss the difficulty or the gravity of the situation.
It recognizes it. It gets it out in the open.
It lets them know that yeah, it's going to be difficult, but we've been there before and we'll get through this.
I suspect a lot of people going through hip replacement don't really want their experience of this challenge to be minimized. They want someone to understand that this is a big deal for them because it is.
I don't mean people need to be over dramatic, but this is a big deal in someone's life.
No matter how much some people may downplay it, it was easy. It was fine. I recovered quick. You'll be fine. It's no big deal.
Surgery is a big deal. This is a major surgery. Pain is a big deal. Loss of mobility is a big deal. Fear is a big deal. The recovery is a big deal. And getting your life back is a very big deal.
That's why this community matters. And that's why I love doing this podcast.
Whether it's this podcast, a recovery group, a friend who has been through it, a physical therapist, a supportive spouse even, or someone who simply checks in on you. The connection that you make helps.
Isolation makes fear louder. It makes the pain more intense.
But the connection to someone else quiets down the fear and softens pain.
When you know other people have walked the road that you're on before you, the road feels less mysterious. It feels less uncertain, but it's still challenging though, and that's fine, but less lonely.
And maybe that's one of the greatest gifts we can give each other. It's not a perfect map. Everyone recovers differently at different rates.
But the information that you share with someone else, realistic sometimes kind of downer information like, "Hey, things didn't go too well at this point and this is what I did to fix it or this is what to watch out for or this is what worked well."
It's not a perfect map, but it's sort of like a flashlight in the dark.
A little light that says your path continues this way. Keep going. You're not the only one out here.
Come with me in New Steel. The story begins with my own pain and fear. But it doesn't end there. I wrote more than one chapter.
It becomes the pain becomes something that I can share. Something that may help another person. Something that may give someone a little more courage before surgery or a little more patience after surgery during the recovery.
And that's what I want for you, too.
Maybe your story is not finished.
Maybe you're still in the messy middle part. Maybe you're still using a walker. Maybe you're still fighting for better sleep. Maybe you're still trying to walk a little further. Maybe you're still wondering when you'll feel like yourself again.
All that's okay. All that is part of this.
You don't need to have the whole story figured out today. Just keep moving through it. Just keep moving forward. Keep learning. Keep asking questions. Keep noticing what helps, what works for you. Keep paying attention to the little moments, the little wins.
Because someday someone else may need exactly what you learned. They may have the exact same specific challenge that you had and you can help them because of your successes.
Your setback, I mean going through the surgery, may become someone else's survival guide. Your hard-earned wisdom may become their reassurance.
In your recovery, the way you did it may become their hope. And that may make all the difference for them. Those are not small things. Those are all real impact you can have on the lives of others.
And let me say this, don't make the mistake of believing that the only benefit here is to someone coming after you.
When you encourage or help someone else, you benefit too.
When you have the ability to help someone else and do it, you become a more powerful version of yourself, a better version of yourself, your confidence grows because you realize how far you've come and how much progress you've made.
It can make a big difference in your life as well.
Farther in down your recovery process, maybe even years later, you'll be able to realize how far you've come when you take a look back because you've been helping other people behind you.
So, not only will that make a difference in their recovery, it will make a big difference in your recovery as well.
I hope all this was helpful. This is the fourth episode in our five-part series based on the themes from my book, New Steel. And today's theme was your setback may become someone else's survival guide.
In the next episode, we'll close the five-part series with a powerful question. What now? Or what path do I take following my hip replacement surgery?
It's very forward-looking approach.
Thanks so much for tuning in to The Hip Replacement Podcast.
Until next time, I wish you the best recovery possible.
Take care.
